Ready, Aim, Fire! Big Boys Stand Up to Pee

My son is a big boy now, or so he tells me. Being a big boy, he has decided that he should no longer sit on the toilet to pee.

Big boys stand up,” he says.

I am so proud of the way he is growing. I love watching him develop and try new things. I smile every time he reaches new heights.

But I was much happier when he sat down to wee.

Big boys may stand up, but I guess you have to be much bigger to have good aim. Each time I visit the toilet, I am now confronted with a puddle of wee on the floor around the toilet.

I have heard that one method is to put a ball in the toilet and get them to try to aim for it. I’m not sure that I like the idea of getting the ball out after each attempt though.

I certainly don’t want to discourage him from standing up to wee. It took us a long time to get him to do so.

He was quite easy to toilet train. We didn’t start until he was a little over two so he was very ready. We had him fully trained in a week. He got the concept within a day or two and has had only a few minor accidents since.

Nighttime is a bit of a different story though. He still struggles to hold it all night.

But for a long time he just would not pee standing up.

One stressful car trip to the country ended in disaster because he wouldn’t pee standing up. He was only just 3 at the time. We were nearly at our destination when my son started jiggling around in his car seat.

“Mum, I have to do wee wees,” he said desperately.

“Just hold it for a few minutes sweetie,” I replied glancing cautiously sideways to see the look of annoyance on my partners face.

As his jiggling got more and more agitated and his little face tightened into a pained grimace, we decided it was time to pullover.

Finding a rest area on the side of the road, we raced to get him out of the car. It was a frantic dash to unbuckle seatbelts, put shoes back on, remove mountains of toys and food from his lap and get him to the grass area.

“Mummy, where is my potty?” he asked.

“There isn’t any potty here. You will have to be a big boy and stand up.”

We tried everything. Different locations, holding him, pants fully off, hovering him above the ground, even a quick demonstration of how it was done. It was all to no avail. He simply refused to go.

Being only 10 minutes from a public toilet block, we piled everyone (and everything) back into the car and began the race to the loo.

We had only got 2 minutes from where we had stopped when his hold gave way. You can imagine how thrilled his father was!

In the interest of avoiding any further such incidents, I am pleased that he now can stand up to pee. I am just not thrilled with his lack of aim.

I want to teach him careful aim. Not enough to write his name on the ground, but at least enough to get it in the toilet bowl!

If anyone has any good ideas, please let me know!




I Am Woman, Hear Me Fart!

One of my male friends posted a comment today on Facebook that read:

Women shouldn’t fart whilst with their man.

My immediate response was if it is good for the goose, its good for the gander!

So why is it ok for men to let one rip but not for women. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to drop a loud one in public. However, in the privacy of your own home it is much better to let it out! Afterall, men have no problems letting theirs out.

Are we really still at the point of thinking of women as delicate flowers? Frail but beautiful objects whose beauty separates them from normal bodily functions.

One of the replies to my friend’s comment was:

Girls don’t fart. They do winkie puffs that don’t smell.

While I love this comment, I have to wonder. Why don’t girls fart? We would never have this discussion about men farting. No one would ever say that men do winkie puffs.

It is quite acceptable for a man to fart in the privacy of his own home (and occasionally in public, particularly in the company of other men). It is ok for men to belch, leave the toilet seat up, snort, sniff, snore and stick their fingers in various orifices. This is all disgusting, yet totally acceptable behaviour for a man.

For a woman, it is taboo. Women don’t belch. Women don’t snort or snore. Of course not, women don’t even need to go to the toilet!

And when we do it smells like roses!

I find it mind boggling that as a woman I am expected to hold gas in my stomach until I feel sick. I am supposed to ignore all of natures gifts of sounds and smells.

Well you can stick that up your you know what. I will do my best for the courtesy of others to contain myself in public. At home though, you can expect me to belch and fart loudly and proudly. I am no different to the boys of my house (which is everyone else) and have the same rights as them. That means I can let them rip and stink up a storm. And if they don’t like it, they can cook their own dinner!